


some days you feel like a girl, and others you feel like nothing at all

by thornnfang



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Axel (mentioned) - Freeform, Coming Out, Even (mentioned), Gen, Naminé (mentioned) - Freeform, Non-binary Xion, and roxas is very supportive of his non-binary sibling, they come out to roxas, xion has gender dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26797336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornnfang/pseuds/thornnfang
Summary: Xion knew they were different than all of their friends. They knew it from the moment they had first been welcomed into the Organization. The fourteenth member of a group that was supposed to be thirteen. A puppet, created from the memories of someone else, who was never supposed to exist. But then they thought everything would be fine after the Keyblade War. And it was. They lived happily in Twilight Town with their best friends.But of course, something had to go wrong.Or, Xion comes out to Roxas about being non-binary.
Relationships: Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	some days you feel like a girl, and others you feel like nothing at all

**Author's Note:**

> tw;; gender dysphoria
> 
> this one's for me folks. but i'm posting it anyway in case anyone else loves enby xion like me.
> 
> i had this thought in my head, and i couldn't get it out. so i'm indulging myself and doing it.

Xion knew they were different than all of their friends. They knew it from the moment they had first been welcomed into the Organization. The fourteenth member of a group that was supposed to be thirteen. A puppet, created from the memories of someone else, who was never supposed to exist. But then they thought everything would be fine after the Keyblade War. And it was. They lived happily in Twilight Town with their best friends.

But of course, something had to go wrong.

Xion wasn’t sure when they realized they were non-binary. Maybe it was a combination of all the little things. They always felt weird about being grouped with Olette, Naminé, and the other girls during gym. Not that they didn’t like Olette and Naminé. Quite the opposite. But it never felt _right._

Some days they looked in their closet and wanted to rip their few dresses into little pieces. They had always _hated_ when people called them ‘ma’am’ or referred to them as ‘her’. They didn’t know why. Isn’t that exactly what they wanted, especially after being addressed as an object for so long?

Xion figured it out one day after they had just gotten dressed. They were looking at themself in the mirror and realized how _unfair_ it all was. They were created from Sora, right? So why was it that they were the only one with boobs?

After that Xion had sat in the bathroom crying. They didn’t go to school that day, just saying that they didn’t feel well. And, they guessed, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Ever since then, these feelings had just been amplified. They didn’t know what to do. They hadn’t had much experience with this kind of thing, only what they had looked up on their Gummiphone. There was no one that they knew who had felt something similar, so they couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

But they wanted to. They wanted to tell someone so badly. They felt like they were lying to their friends every day, and friends don’t lie to each other. Axel, Roxas, and Xion had all decided that there would be no more lies between them.

They had just gotten out of school for today. Roxas and Xion were walking with Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They were talking about their newly assigned project. Xion was not excited for it. Their teacher had paired them up in groups of girls and boys. Which, of course, Xion did _not_ appreciate.

Olette bumped them with her hip. “Hey, you excited to work on our project? Wish Naminé was in our class, we could use her incredible art skills.” Olette smiled kindly at them, but Xion felt like crying. They could feel their eyes watering, and they were certainly not ready to tell Olette why.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home early. Have fun at the Usual Spot,” Xion put on their best smile and waved before breaking off from the group. Olette gave them a slightly concerned glance but waved back, still smiling. They saw Roxas look over and they knew he would be asking them what was going on later. But that was a problem for future Xion. Right now, they just wanted to get away.

Xion did not end up going home. They found themself buying ice cream and heading up to the clocktower. They didn’t expect anyone to come up here. Usually the trio communicated about when they met up here.

Needless to say, Xion was more than a little surprised to see Roxas sit down beside them.

“Figured you’d be up here,” he gave them a soft smile. He took a bite of the ice cream he had brought with him. “So, what’s up?”

Xion didn’t know how to respond. They didn’t want to lie to Roxas. They hated lying, especially to Roxas. He didn’t deserve that. But they weren’t sure what they could say. Xion stared out at the setting sun.

“Xion, I know something’s up. You haven’t been yourself lately,” Roxas sighed.

“How do you know?”

Xion looked down at their lap, already feeling regret. They didn’t mean to snap at Roxas. Plus, they had just cornered themself. Great job, Xion.

“W…what?”

“How do you know I’m not acting like myself? I mean it’s not like we’ve even had any time to figure that out,” Xion laughed, exasperated. Tears were now falling down their face, but they were just laughing. “So how do you know I’m not acting like myself?” They hadn’t meant to blurt all of that out, but after the first couple words they couldn’t help themself. It had just all spilled out.

“Xion.” Xion turned to look at Roxas. He looked so concerned about them, not even a little bit upset. “I don’t know where this is all coming from, but I can’t know what’s going on if you don’t _tell me._ ”

The tears came faster, and Xion sniffled loudly. They put their head on Roxas’ shoulder and just sobbed. The two remained like that for a long time. It didn’t feel long enough for Xion. They picked their head up and knew they had to tell Roxas what was going on.

“Roxas, have you ever felt… disconnected from yourself?” Roxas gave them a look and Xion felt slightly better. “Like… your body isn’t your own?”

“Xion, our bodies were literally made in a lab.”

The thought made Xion furious. Why couldn’t Even have just given them a different model or something? Why did he have to specifically make them appear more feminine? But Even hadn’t known. Xion breathed deeply for a moment.

“Yeah but, this is different.” Xion thought for a moment about how to explain it. “It’s like I wore a size too small, and it’s really uncomfortable, but I can’t take it off.”

“Okay. Then let’s go back to the lab. Even probably just made a mistake, he can fix it,” Roxas said, shrugging. Xion shook their head vehemently.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Huh? Why not? If you’re uncomfortable, that’s a problem Xion. I’m sure Even would agree.”

“But he doesn’t even know what’s wrong!”

“So tell him.”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

Xion stilled. “I’m scared.”

They felt the weight of Roxas’ hand on their shoulder. “Xion, tell me what’s wrong.” Xion stared at Roxas. “Please.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Xion whispered. They knew, rationally, that Roxas would never, _could never._ But they’re called irrational fears for a reason, right?

“Xion. Listen, okay? I could never hate you. No matter what.” Roxas smiled at her. “You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

Tears welled in Xion’s eyes. They nodded and took a deep breath, closing their eyes. They were ready.

“I’m non-binary.”

And Xion felt two arms wrap around them in a warm embrace. Xion hugged Roxas back, feeling a wave of relief wash over them. They hadn’t realized they were so tense until they had relaxed. It felt _so good_ to finally tell someone. It felt even better that Roxas was immediately so accepting.

He didn’t let go of them as he spoke. “How long?”

“Not too long. Maybe a couple months?”

“Pronouns?”

Xion almost started crying again. “They/them.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What? What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me. That you’d think I’d hate you. I never meant to make you feel like that, Xion.”

Xion was quiet. Like the majority of that afternoon, they didn’t know what to say. It was definitely not Roxas’ fault _at all._ But they couldn’t put it into words, so they hugged him tighter and hoped that got the point across.

“You don’t have to tell anyone if it makes you uncomfortable, but I do think Even would be happy to try to get you a new body, if that’s what you want. And there’s no chance in hell that Axel would love you any less,” Roxas reassured her. Xion laughed quietly.

“He’s a good dad.”

“Don’t tell him that, he’s got too big of a head already.”

The two laughed with each other and Xion finally let go of Roxas.

“Ready to go?”

Xion looked out at Twilight Town. This conversation had gone so much better than anything Xion’s mind could have thought. Their heart felt so much lighter, freer. And if they had done this once, they could do it again. Roxas was right. Axel, the scientists at Radiant Garden, their friends. They wouldn’t abandon Xion over something as trivial as _gender_.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”


End file.
